


Death of a Bachelor

by fields_of_falafel



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, too sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:09:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fields_of_falafel/pseuds/fields_of_falafel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years have passed since Ryan and Brendon had parted, although Ryan still goes and listens to every Panic! song Brendon puts out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death of a Bachelor

Ryan couldn’t believe that he was doing this to himself. He hadn’t spoken to Brendon in years, he’d left the band more than six years ago, and here he was, typing in ‘death of a bachelor’ into the search bar.

He knew he couldn’t let go. He pressed play and Brendon’s vocals came pouring through like a refreshing glass of water after a hot day, his Sinatra-esque vocals almost too good to be true.

_Do I look lonely?_

No, Brendon. You don’t. You’re happily married to a gorgeous woman.

The song drifted through his headphones, a wonderful melody, bringing tears to his eyes. He never should’ve said those things that night. He shouldn’t have pushed him. But no, he let his frustration and his love get in the way and Brendon didn’t understand and it was all such a mess. But no, he was young and stupid and frustrated and he regretted it.

He remembered the look in his eyes when he’d said that more-than-harsh sentence. He remembered the tremble in his lip and then the stony look on his face when he turned around and left. Left him. He left Ryan and it was the worst moment of Ryan’s life.

He remembered the look of betrayal he saw on Brendon’s face the next morning, and the slump of his shoulders, that horrible dead look in his eye. That Ryan didn’t do anything about it.

Brendon’s high notes brought back even worse memories, of them laughing and messing around in the studio, Brendon showing off his falsetto, Jon joking that he could be a soprano . . .

It’s too much.

Ryan paused the song right in the middle of the chorus, not being able to handle it. Why did this always happen? Every time he turned on a Panic! song just to see what Brendon was making these days he completely broke down. Every single time he told himself that it’s just a song, it’s nothing serious, but he knew that wasn’t true. Songs were emotions, hope and fear and lust and love all wrapped up into a sweet melody delivered as a delight to your ears.

This song told him that Brendon was really and truly done with Ryan.

Brendon had the entire world at his fingertips, and Ryan could never be a part of it again.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did name it after the song bc obviously it's about the song and also i wrote this in like half an hour so it's not great but please leave a kudos or even a comment if you liked! thank you for reading :D


End file.
